My review of the movie Mom’s Night Out.
Let’s start with a little backstory first, believe me when I say that it does matter…so humor me and read, mmk?
Until February of this year, I worked full time outside the home. I woke up, got the kids up, helped shuffle them to either school or mamaws and off to my very satisfying, wonderful, Monday through Friday 8-5 job. I loved my job, I loved who I worked with, I had my own office, my own business cards, email, extension and Starbucks every day, yes EVERY day. (BTW they turned me into a coffee snob, it’s really not my fault…but that’s not really imperative to this story, I digress)
Continuing on; I hobnobbed with people from all over the world; I felt I had my foot in the door of a business that isn’t easily done by a woman. I had a purpose, a plan, and I worked my purpose/plan. I went to work every day satisfied with my place, with the work that I did and those that I worked with. This company was such a part of my life, my family’s life. It saw me through a divorce, custody battles, a new house, marriage, the passing of my child and the subsequent birth of my last two babies. They were there for me in the highest of highs in my life and the lowest of lows. They weren’t just my co-workers or my ‘bosses’, they were a family to me and I thought they felt the same for me.
After over nine years and continuing declining business and revenue, my bosses made (I am positive) a very difficult decision to downsize. I was part of that decision. The exact reasons can be hashed over this way or that, however I know that they would have not made that decision if they didn’t feel like there were any other options.
It was a very difficult time for me, from the first moment the office manager came in and uttered those two words that said it all “I’m sorry”, to today, when even now thinking of it and revisiting the memory for my review, I still feel the bottom fall out of my heart and I still see her face and hear those words, “I’m sorry”.
So that was it. I was unable to speak all I could do was harden my heart (I’ll feel later, now’s not the time) get up and start packing. My life, my nine plus years, I had to pack away and fit it in my car and make the longest drive home, ever. Word spread faster than snot in preschool, and there were a few brave souls that ventured up to my office for condolences, most didn’t even speak to me. Ok…I probably don’t need to go too much into this part…let’s just say I didn’t hold the tears for long. The last few hours of my last day was, well, very difficult.
So fast forward a thousand tears, several boxes of tissues, more sleepless nights than I care to count, some pretty hefty life change conversations with the husband and here we are, three months later.
As you can imagine, a family of six, going from a two income family down to one, provides many challenges and a lot, and I do mean a lot of unanswered questions. I started my resume in between the tears and sleepless nights and initially I felt pretty positive, despite our glaring reality. Between the husband and I, I had always been the one to see the light in the darkest of times, my faith helped lift my husband and it carried us through and I felt that this would be no different. This time I was wrong.
My resume was out there, I had talked to friends in town who might hear of something, my friends were supportive and reassuring that “better things will come”, “God only closes a door, when there’s a window to open”, “enjoy your time off”. The last one stung the worst. How could I possibly enjoy my time off? My family needed my income; I needed to help my husband bear the load, what about health insurance, the private school we committed ourselves to sending our daughter and son to; the comfortable savings account we built up, how would we keep afloat…how in all of that, could I possibly “enjoy my time off”. Ah, I know they meant well, but it didn’t make the words sting any less.
My positivity ended pretty much when my severance did. There were no job offers, even Starbucks; my beloved Starbucks (who did actually interview me) didn’t want me. It quickly became apparent that although my skill set is employable, unless I had a degree, no one wanted me. The husband and I talked and we both decided that I would go back to school. So the path was set, I’d go back to school and finish my degree, and we’d find some way without my income to make it work. In the meantime that made me officially a SAHM.
Let the journey begin.
Often times while working at my full time job, I fantasized about what it would be like to be a SAHM, I was jealous of others that were “professional mom’s” shuffling here and there to play dates, mommy and me time, this child’s activity to the next, being the ever present positive, happy, doting, loving, nurturing mother, loving those little moments of joy that your child brings, being completely, utterly fulfilled and satisfied in just being a mother.
Now here I am, in that very role I coveted, and I am lost. Where’s the joy? Where’s the fulfillment, the satisfaction? Que more tears. Here I was on the other side of the fence (you know where it’s supposed to be greener) and there was no joy to be found. I did mechanically what I did before I left my job, I cooked, I cleaned, I reared children, I just did more of it now.( Now I fully accept and understand that while my husband is the sole breadwinner now, that my ‘job’ is the house and it’s day to day running/maintenance and whatnot.) Being a MOM was my job now, it now completely defines who I am, and I am not so sure I liked it.
Though out the days, weeks and now months following my decent into madness, I mean SAHMomness, I operated in ‘suck it up buttercup’ mode and just did what was expected of me, I did what a good little SAHM should do…well at least what my perception of it was (mom tip here….do not and I mean DO NOT look to facebook or those goody two shoes ‘my life is perfect’ mommy bloggers to define what the reality of being a SAHM is they LIE….continuing on…) pretty much I operated on automatic, and that’s how it is has continued.
My husband is great about this transition; he’s been so loving and supportive. He recognizes when I need to get out of the house and not parent anymore. He has been very attentive to helping out and not just dumping everything on me simply ‘because now that’s my job’. He’s taken me on date nights and even though we have to keep our purse strings a bit tighter, he recognizes that is money well spent. So last night he took me to see the movie Mom’s Night Out (my review of this moving is beginning soon….it’ll be worth it, promise). I had never heard of the movie before we got to the theater and wasn’t at all sure what to expect, comedy, romance, action, heck or who even starred in it.
After gouging our wallet for the tickets ($11 per person) and then gouging it out a bit more (can we say over $5 for a bottle of water, we shared by the way) we were off to the theater.
The first thing I noticed is that while the theater seated between 150-200 people and it was only slightly filled up when we arrived, there were no men there (other than my husband). We took our seats at the very top and watched the theater get fuller and fuller….all women…then one stray man…more women and another man that makes three. By the time the theater was filled to capacity, there were a grand total of four husbands whose wives (seemingly) drug them to see this ‘chick flick’. (Side note: there were four husbands that totally get their wives…and would probably ‘get’ them later too. And the rest of them (by the end of the movie) were probably wishing their husband was there with them).
When we were waiting for the previews to start, hubs was telling me that this was another Kendrick brother’s movie. The same that made Fireproof and Courageous. Both movies we enjoyed very much. Safe, wholesome, movies with loving Christian values. Never any sexuality, or gratuitous violence or foul language, no adult innuendoes you have to worry about explaining.
I loved this movie. That’s as simply as it can be put, however you’re not getting off that easily, I mean you see what I’ve wrote so far and I am just now getting to the actual review of the movie. I will try not to spoil the actual film for you; I really want you to see it, with your spouse. Cash in an IOU if you have to, he won’t regret it, I promise. Quite honestly it will open his eyes and probably appreciate what a SAHM really is.
This movie made me cry more than once, it’s funny …I mean it made me cry actual running down my face tears, all in the first 5 min of the movie and this was because of the funny. Beyond the funny, it’s moving and above all, it’s real. It’s real, it’s true and it got to me. I felt my heart fill, my eyes were heavy with tears and I knew that I could open the flood gates at any time. (Which would probably be pretty distracting to our fellow movie goers)
I tried so hard to not lose it at the end, I realized that what I was feeling, what I was searching for, what I needed to hear was in this movie. The prayers that I was praying, my conversations with God, begging Him for understanding and patience and for peace in our transition, would come.
God spoke to me, He spoke to my heart, He told me that everything would be ok, He told me “peace my child, you are enough”. I am not so sure that my words are enough to describe to you what transpired in my soul and in my heart from watching this movie. He told me “you are enough”. To hear that from your mom or dad is great, a teacher or respected adult, coworker, friend is amazing, but to hear your Heavenly Father, your God speak to your heart and tell you “my child, you are enough”….when all you’ve felt like is nothing close to enough, is more than my mere words can convey.
Please if as a mother, you’ve felt like less than enough; go see this movie, take your husband or your girlfriend if you’re sans a man. This is a DO NOT MISS movie. Put it on your list, take $25 out of your rainy day fund and make this movie happen.
Coming from this movie there are a few things in my life that are very clear to me.
• I have an AMAZING husband, who really. Does. Get. Me.
• If I keep my heart open to hearing God’s word, He will speak to me.
• I. Am. Enough.
No, this movie isn’t a cure all. I do still and will still have moments that test me and I will fail and fall short from time to time. However I know that when life kicks me in the behind and I can’t find my joy, when I look at me and all I see is a frazzled mess of unkempt hair, no makeup, wearing a shirt full of mystery spots and the same yoga pants I’ve worn all week, that my husband sees me, loves me and says “you’re beautiful”, that God sees me and says “my child, you are enough”.